CHECK CASHING POLICY
YOUR ORDER may be held until check clears if check is spindled. Dog-eared. Left out in the rain, or rode hard and put away wet. Ripped or torn, or written by Rip Torn.
Un-numbered, hand-numbered or numbered in the single digits. Composed of Latex, polypropylene or impregnated with ferrous metal. Imprinted with a “Family Circus” theme (Thier ghostly grandfather creeps me out; why can’t he let go and move on to the afterlife?)
Coffee stained, drooled on, used for personal hygiene rituals of any kind. Issued during periods of intense sunspot activity. Endowed with hanging, dimpled, swinging or pregnant chads. Issued by any firm with the words “YE OLDE” in the title. If your check has one of those annoying perforated edges to tear off, it may be delayed until I can find someone with a steady hand to remove the stub. Other completely random criteria may apply.
Your check may also cause a delay if I endorse it to my bartender and it fails to cover the extent of my evening’s activities within the saloon (excluding gambling). If my landlord gets wind of it, I may have to conceal your payment for a few days, further delaying shipment.
Seriously, our general policy is to assume the check is OK, and we normally ship right away (Although we reserve the right to hold the item for check clearance if we suddenly get a healthy dose of paranoia)